Back when I officially announced that we had matched with a surrogate, I put out an open invitation for readers, friends and family to submit questions that they wanted to ask from an outside perspective. In the mainstream, there are so many things that people do now know or understand about surrogacy, so I wanted to share how our wonderful surrogate Lisa and her husband, Darren, would answer those questions. Lisa answered most of the questions with Darren contributing too. As with any interview, questions can open up more questions, so by all means, if you have a burning desire to know something else, pop it in the comments below and I will do my best to get it answered for you :-)
What got you into surrogacy?
Honestly? I don't know! I realise that sounds odd but I cannot remember a definitive moment. I just knew it was something I wanted to do. It was probably Phoebe in Friends or something like that. Lol.Can you tell everyone a little about your previous surrogacy experience?
Errr how long have you got? Short version, I've been a TS and had a baby boy for a gay couple in 2013. A gorgeous little boy who is almost 4. Not sure how the time has moved so quickly!Then I was a GS for a straight couple as I thought I'd give it alllllll a go! And they have a son who is almost 2 now.
How did you meet Mark and his husband?
I blame Laura! A mutual friend, someone who I met via YouTube messages to say that her friend was now looking into surrogacy and could I add him to the groups or maybe chat to him a bit as he was a great friend and she wanted him to have the best help and knew I was knowledgable and all that about surrogacy. So I started chatting to Mark and I was adamant at this time I was never going again as the last pregnancy had been a hard one.... so never again was I going to do it. But the blasted man is far too fabulous as I not only clicked brilliantly with him but Marc too. It just felt right. Like it was supposed to happen and yes I do feel a bit nauseated when I write that down as I'm not particularly soppy as a person.Was there anything in particular that made you agree to be a surrogate for Marc and Marc?
As I said above, it just felt right. And the last time it felt right like this with my first couple, I had the best match and still see them and their son and it had been the most amazing experience. I want that again if I can. I'm a bit selfish but I like making others happy and getting amazing friends at the same time.How do you go about explaining surrogacy to your children?
Well, I started a few years before I ended up having a baby as a surrogate so they sort of grew up with it.What kind of reaction do people have when they see you are pregnant but then find out it is for someone else?
Usually, ask how much I get paid or say it's amazing. Both of which make me inwardly cringe a teeny bit but that's more that I'm an awkward sod.Are your family supportive with the surrogacy?
Most of them yes. Not all but everyone entitled to their own option I guess.Why do you do it?
Because I'm mental. All jokes aside, the world is already filled with so much negativity, bad luck, sadness, hurt and stuff that if I can do something to make others happy, if I can help people, give people not only the chance to be parents but help create grandparents, sibling, aunts, uncles, cousins... why wouldn't I? I know I can, so I do. Not everyone could carry a baby and hand them to their parents without being a bit broken by it and I knew I would be fine.What would you tell someone who was thinking about being a surrogate?
Research, learn, research some more. Take some time, then double that time and take some more.Never rush, never cut corners and don't give up on something because of the time it takes to achieve. The time will pass anyway. And join groups like UK Surrogacy - The Foyer. Knowledge is power. The people will support you and there is almost always someone who knows the answer.
What would you tell someone who was thinking of using a surrogate?
Research, research and research a bit more. Take your time. Don’t rush any part. Don’t get too excited. Talk to people who’ve done it and don’t assume everyone who is in the world of surrogacy is good, decent or kind as that’s not always the case. Be your own advocate.How does your husband feel about you being a surrogate/How do you feel about your wife being a surrogate?
Darren is quite proud. Odd man. He doesn’t seem to mind but I’d not do with without his agreement and support.D: I am proud. Very much so.
It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I’m happy for her to do whatever makes her happy.
How much do I charge?
How can I give my baby away?
How can I sell a baby?
Do I charge my husband for sex (because I said I used a cleaner at the end of a surrogate pregnancy once due to the severe SPD and my inability to do it myself. I still can’t work out the logic there)
Would I do it for £50k as I’m pretty and they don’t want ugly kids? Most surrogates were ugly apparently....
Oh, so so many...
D: Why are you letting other men sleep with your wife?!
Edith, Seth and Finlay have mostly been cola and ice. Which is a bit odd.
Is it an odd feeling knowing your wife is carrying someone else’s baby?
D: It was the first time around but I got used to it.What is the dumbest/most insensitive question you’ve both been asked? (relating to surrogacy)
Do I have to have sex?How much do I charge?
How can I give my baby away?
How can I sell a baby?
Do I charge my husband for sex (because I said I used a cleaner at the end of a surrogate pregnancy once due to the severe SPD and my inability to do it myself. I still can’t work out the logic there)
Would I do it for £50k as I’m pretty and they don’t want ugly kids? Most surrogates were ugly apparently....
Oh, so so many...
D: Why are you letting other men sleep with your wife?!
Do you have a standard stock response when people ask dumb questions?
Usually, the most sarcastic thing I can think of. For the sex one, I usually point out that would be illegal. It's the same with money. Or ‘do you really think I’d be living on a shoebox if I could make money selling babies?!!’The media publishes a lot of stories that do not paint surrogacy in a positive light. How do you combat that?
Youtube! My Facebook page, Instagram. Basically, I’m all over social media being obnoxious posting about how actually it’s pretty mundane. LolWhat are your top tips for pregnancy?
Don’t do it. It’s horrible.Have you ever had any really weird pregnancy cravings?
Not really. With George, I wanted grapefruit all the time. Alice, it was creme eggs. I got sooooooo fat.Edith, Seth and Finlay have mostly been cola and ice. Which is a bit odd.
And that's it for now. As mentioned above, if you have any more burning questions please post them in the comments below. If you really want to get know Lisa a little bit more I strongly recommend you go check out and maybe even subscribe to her YouTube channel and you can also like her Facebook page. I promise you will love it as much as I do!
Thanks for stopping by x
Thanks for stopping by x
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